Questions/Observations about American/St. Louis culture

Now that I've lived in St. Louis for a year (!!), it seemed like I was ready to revive this blog, which has been hibernating for awhile.  It's still chinamelissa.blogspot.com, but I made it look like I'm in St. Louis at least. =)

I've found it helpful to think about the United States and St. Louis as a new country and culture for me.  I haven't really lived in the US as an adult before, and I decided that living in Santa Barbara for 3 years before moving to China didn't count towards that.  I mean, was I really an adult then?  So this is all new to me, especially after life in China for 7 years.

So here are some observations and questions that have come to mind after doing life here for just about a year now.  Some of them are just observations, but some of them don't sit well with me and a year later I still don't know how to process.

• I found that the air conditioners (kong tiaos) in individual rooms in China actually worked a lot more efficiently than the central air in my second floor apartment now.  This surprised me!  But the natural gas space heaters in my apartment here are waaaaay better than those same kong tiaos were at heating my apartment in China.
• Americans seem obsessed with safety.  One example is that there is insurance for everything: car insurance, health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, renter's insurance, life insurance, other extra insurance in case regular health insurance isn't enough....  I don't have all those, but just figuring out health insurance alone when I had to buy it myself (part-time jobs) was rather crazy.
• The cost of living is higher than in China.  Things that cost more: rent, eating out, fresh fruit and vegetables, hiring a car, getting clothing hemmed......etc.
• The city of St. Louis is segregated (apparently one of the most segregated cities in the country?), in terms of where people live.  And go to school.  At the community college location in the city, 80% of students in my basic algebra class are African American.  In Differential Equations, the highest level math class they have, offered at the community college location outside the city, this is not the case at all.  Not to mention the Christian school where I tutor outside the city.  That disturbs me more.  I see the disparity every single day when I go from one job to another and I don't know how to describe how I feel about it, but it's not good.  It's like all all I can do is put aside the helpless feeling that there's nothing I can really do and teach every one of my students with kindness and respect each day.
• I've realized this is something about American culture and history that I really lack knowledge about, so I've slowly been doing some reading and listening and observing everyday life in the city.  I finally started reading The New Jim Crow (it's been constantly on hold at the library for months).  A podcast from a church in Oregon that lots of people I knew in China used to listen to had an episode about Race & Justice which was illuminating to listen to.  It's over an hour, but it's worth it.  Since I'm living in this country now, I feel like it's important to understand its history and culture more than I do.  I read books about China and its history and culture before and while living there too, so why shouldn't I do that now for the US?
• I have not met people who are good at hospitality here, at church or elsewhere, whether it's actually inviting someone into their home or out to do something.  This has felt discouraging to me.  I'm realizing and reminding myself over and over that this isn't really part of American culture in general anymore, sadly, and that I need to keep asking people who say yes, even if they don't ask back.   "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.  Show hospitality to one another without grumbling."  (1 Peter 4:8-9)  I struggle to know how to love people here.
• I found people to be more open in general in China.  People seem friendly here, but in actuality there is a wall there, a boundary that their friendliness doesn't want to cross.  At least not yet.  But how long does it take?  When I read this, I feel like it's condescending somehow.  Do I think I'm better than people who don't seem more open to new friendships, new possibilities? Am I as open as I think I am?  One observation is that I haven't experienced this boundary or holding back with international students I've met, especially once they know I lived in China for 7 years.  They are ready much sooner to show their vacation pictures, talk about family and significant others, talk about American culture and what is going on the world, meet for dinner or coffee, etc.  So it's something I've observed and wondered about.  What is it about American culture that trains people to build walls around what they are comfortable with, when it comes to new friends, new ideas, new places?

On a vocabulary-related note, especially among teenagers and young adults,

• What does "lit" mean?  Example: "That's so lit!" [Say in a positive tone.] Is this the new word used in replacement of "cool"?
• How about "extra"?  Example: "That's so extra!"  [Say in a negative tone.]  Is it the new word for "stupid"?  But I've also seen this used in a positive way!!!  So I'm very confused.