everyday life

there are lots of things i *could* post about. i have pictures i haven't written about. i could impress you with cool places i have visited. there are lots of things like that that i could post about. it's easy to post about those things. but maybe that gives the impression that i am often doing cool things and going to interesting places. i do get to do those things. but everyday life is not like that.

i work a lot. i am pretty much always at work for 10 hours 5 days a week, sometimes longer. sometimes i bring work home in the evenings and on weekends. a lot of the time. sometimes i go out to dinner with individual people and get to know them. sometimes i go out to dinner with groups of people. sometimes we eat amazing korean bbq, like last night, where we could choose whatever meat and other things we wanted to grill, grill them right in front of us, each person grilling exactly what they wanted, and eat it with amazing sauce and vegetables. sometimes i come home and eat random things and try to relax and do nothing. or do more work. sometimes i go to to sleep too late because i'm afraid i won't be able to sleep. and then i'm tired. in the morning i ride my bike to work everyday with a couple of people. each morning is the same. but riding my bike feels like freedom, and i love it. i felt a bit lost when i left my bike at work overnight the other day.

almost everyday there is so much work to do that i force myself to only think about the events and the work for the day in front of me so that i don't get overwhelmed. sometimes i don't see my roommate for days because our schedules are different and we do different things. sometimes i play rock band until 1 AM with friends, because i can and it takes my mind off of other things. sometimes i do things that i wouldn't have imagined myself doing before, like dancing to techno music and singing hard rock songs for rock band (i prefer to play the "guitar").

sometimes my community seems so small that i feel like i barely know anyone. sometimes the community seems so amazing because we take care of each other and know each other well. sometimes i love my city and its atmosphere and personality and familiar places and lights and people. sometimes it seems huge and impersonal.

sometimes i get a glimpse of eternity and why i am here. sometimes amazing things are happening and it is clear. and sometimes, a lot of the time, it just feels like everyday life. i wish i could keep the perspective of eternity more often.